Christmas 2014

Christmas #5 without you here with us.  It is hard to believe at times but then at other times it isn't.  We go through the motions but really don't enjoy the season anymore.  Thank goodness for Raegan because if she was not here I don't even think we would have a Christmas tree!  

Of course we decorated for you again and we always will.  

We decorated Gingerbread houses again this year.  I am pretty sure that you wouldn't have come but I can still wish, right?

And then there was Christmas Eve.  Missing you as usual, especially when picture time comes.....

 Wishing you were here.

Love Mom

Cranberry Sauce and decorations

I didn't forget your cranberry sauce!  Of all things...  you liked cranberry sauce.  I guess the apple doesn't fall to far from the tree.  I wish you were here to enjoy some with us.

And of course what would a holiday be without decorations!

Happy Thanksgiving in Heaven Davey!

Halloween 2014

Another Halloween missing you but remembering all the Halloweens we did get to share.  Your first Halloween you were only 2 months old and I didn't have a costume for you so you wore a pink blanket sleeper that was Autumns and some bunny ears!!  From a football player to a clown to Men in black to Peter Pan, you were always the cutest one in my eyes.  I remember the year that you wore the scary costume and you and I scared the neighbor kids.  I can't find a picture but I think I have one some where.  Just know that you are missed everyday but holidays are the worst.

Happy Halloween

Halloween Decorations

Yes we decorated again...always.  It is one of the only things we can do for you.  People always stop by and say how nice it looks.  If we only didn't have to decorate THERE...

Love you sweet boy

Flowers

Shawn and Ashley brought us flowers in your memory today.  After a long and exhausting day both mentally and physically, to come home and find these on the porch made our day.  She couldn't have found anything more fitting

Of course we still bring you flowers.  I know I know but I need to.  Every Sunday I call the florist  and ask for blue daisy and  and blue carnations.  This time they had blue roses!! I call it "Davey Blue"

Love You Son

4 Years Without You

Hard to believe that it has been 4 years since I said good bye to you as we left for work.  So much has happened, even since last year that I don't know where to start. Life is not the same and it never will be, therefore we look at the world through different eyes.  Eyes that will never see the same, eyes that show pain, eyes that cry and eyes that even smile.  I remember the first time I laughed since you left. It was over a video of a dog of all things!  When I laughed I felt so guilty.  How could I laugh when you are not here?  It took me along time to realize that it is okay to laugh and have fun but at times I still feel guilty.  I look into crowds....looking for you.  From what I hear and read it is normal.  The hardest place is Disneyland. The Happiest Place on Earth right??  All around me are young men your age with their wives and babies.  I picture what you would have been like as a daddy and my heart breaks just knowing that I never will get to know.  I DO know you would have been an awesome daddy but also a paranoid one too!!  That's okay though because you would have learned from me and you and Autumn survived.  We all know that we can never be to careful because we don't know what tomorrow will bring.

So many people send me pictures of things that remind them of you. Mostly Batman signs and I love them all.  From Batman to 8's to 86's to 88 and all those hearts, I see them all too.  They all make me smile knowing that they are from you.  Ashley says she feels and see's you at times.  Her and Shawn are the only ones that have told me that but it doesn't surprise me one bit.  Of all your friends, those two would be the ones that I think you would mess with the most.  They are keeping your memory alive with Mia by telling her stories about you.  They tell me that she talks about you all the time and Ashley's sister Jennifer even tells Mia stories about you.  Warms my heart

Each and every day I thank God for the 24 years, 1 month and 16 days that he let me have you.  If he had told me that was all I would have and gave me a choice, I would have still chosen you.  I hold on to the precious memories that we have but long for more.  One day we will be together again and we can continue where we left off.  I love you Davey and miss you beyond words.
Love Mom

Thinking of You Today

BATSTEVE

Missing this little guy one year today.  I know you and him are having a awesome time...howling together like you used to.

Day of Hope

Rebecca and Sam Got Married

Rebecca and Sam had this Batman balloon in your honor at their wedding. Whenever anyone remembers you in any way, it truly warms my heart. 

 What an awesome surprise this was!!

 Thanks Rebecca and Sam Bal

Happy 28th Birthday!

Happy birthday handsome!  I can't believe that you are 28!  It seems like just yesterday you were born and I was holding the most beautiful baby boy in this world.  I am sure that birthdays in Heaven cannot compare to ones here on Earth.  We had your favorite kind of cake..  my carrot cake.  I wish you were here to share it with us.  I love you and miss you son.  Love Mom

Out of my Sight

Surprises

Boy do we love surprises these days when it has to do with you. Sometimes we go to Rose Hills and someone has left you flowers.  We have no idea who they are but it warms our heart to know that someone took the time to come.  Sometimes there may only be a cigarette butt, but that is OK too!!  I was on Facebook and found this picture.  It is on "the block".  Someone was missing you....

And More Hearts (#3)

Hey sweetie,
Keep those heart signs coming!!  Each and every one of them gets me through the day.  Sometime I see one and think to myself  "Is that a heart or am I wanting to see one so bad that I imagine it is one".  I take a picture of it anyway because to me they are all hearts and signs from you.   Even when they are misshapen and tiny and I may be the only one that sees a heart, I know that they are hearts from you.  My heart was broken the day you left, never to be repaired.
 I love you sweet boy.  Mom

Bruce Wayne

You would be so proud of your Bruce.  He got his teeth cleaned....  but they had to pull some.  Now he lisps when he barks!!!

Footprints on my heart

Mothers Day 1996

Looking through a drawer the other day and came across this! Maybe it was your way of telling me Happy Mother's Day!! You were only 10 years old and I am not sure how much of it you did make but it doesn't matter. It means as much today as it did back then and I will treasure it forever!!

 I love you Son

Facebook Post

One of your friends posted this on the Facebook page that I made for you.  Really?  A kitten in your mouth?  These are the things I miss..

Always

Alex's 23rd Birthday

Our crazy crazy family.  We got together for Alex's 23rd birthday and of course Aunt Karen had games for us to play.  Even Dad, Nana and Raegan played.  I know you weren't much for games but I think you would have had fun.  YOU were the only thing that was missing...

Happy Easter Davey

Papa George

Papa George had surgery on April 2 to clear the artery in his neck.  Thanks for the sign in the phone number to the hospital to let us know that you were there....  951-679-8888.  He made it through with flying colors and is feeling a lot better now.

Nick is 17 today

Seems like he was just born.  I know that you really never got to know him because he was that much younger than you but I know that he looked up to you as the "big cousin".  I love this picture if the two of you.

Happy 4th Birthday Raegan

Today Raegan turned 4.  We took her to Disneyland for breakfast and we ate at Goofy's kitchen.  We took you and Autumn there so many years ago that I really don't even remember it but I knew we went.  After breakfast we spent the day at Disneyland.  We were there all day and we only went on 1 ride.  She was more interested in getting the Princesses to sign her book than she was the rides.  It was her day so she did what she wanted.

I wish you were here to see her grow up.  You would be so proud of her and I know that she would look up to you.  I love making memories with her but I just wish you were here to make memories with us.

                          

 

My Phone

Nana Joan

Brittany's Nana fought a long battle and finally surrendered on January 20, 2014.  Such a beautiful woman.  She loved you so much and every time I say her she always had something special to say about you.  Even when her own daughter left this earth, she still talked about you to me and how she missed you and what a special person you were. She didn't have to tell me, I already knew it but I loved to talk to her about you!

Danielle turned 24!

Hard to believe that she is 24 already. It seems like yesterday that you and her were walking down the aisle at Aunt Alicia's wedding. She has grown to be a very special young lady in our lives.  She remember you, she talks about you, says your name but most of all I know that she misses you too.  Watch over her like you did when you were here.  She still needs you.  Love Mom