Dear Davey, Love Rebecca

Dear Davey,
No matter what I do, the tears are going to fall and my heart is going to ache because you’re not here anymore to help make this world a brighter place. You left without saying goodbye and I still question why you were taken from us. It’s been 4 years since we last spoke but I hold onto those last memories so tightly. You are such a good hearted person and I can’t wait to see you again in Heaven, in perfect health and that bright smile that no one will ever forget.

I was told the pain will ease with time but it has only gotten worse for me. We were close as kids but as time went on and we grew up, we lost contact and went our separate ways.

I regret not taking the time to find you on MySpace or Facebook and just say hi. Now I’ll live the rest of my life regretting that but when I get to Heaven I want to take a walk with you down the golden streets and talk to you until we have nothing else to talk about then we’ll figure out something to talk about.

We all miss you dearly here on Earth and wish you were still here with us but Heaven is lucky to have you there, safe and sound, away from all the harm and trouble.

Davey you were taken too soon and no one knows why but believe me you’re never going be forgotten.

Love,Cousin Rebecca

R.I.P. BATMAN

HE'S HERE

Little David Andrew Rodriguez finally arrived on May 9, 2011 at 9:57 am. I know you are smiling there in Heaven looking down on him. You would be so proud to have this little guy named after you. I wish you were here to see him. I know he will be as sweet and as wonderful of a person as you, and he will know how special he is to have your name. No one will ever be able to take your place but this little guy will, for the rest of his life, carry your name. What an honor... Thank you Tomas, Theresa and baby Tomas.

Things you missed..so far

Things you have missed….not necessarily in order
Halloween-you were suppose to be Woody and Brittany was going to be Jessie

Shawn and Ashley's wedding. You were a groomsman. They included you in the service-it was beautiful

Announcement that Tommy and Theresa are having a baby
Dad bought me a new laptop-I cried because you were not there to help me with it
Thanksgiving 2010-we had cranberry sauce in your honor. I MADE everyone at least taste it. Danielle loved it-just like you

Christmas 2010-this was a hard one. Autumn and I were sick so we slept all day

Papa grew his angel wings-December 29, 2010
New Years 2011
Papa's funeral-January 7, 2011

Announcement that Shawn and Ashley are having a baby
Tommy and Theresa are having a boy-they are naming it after you..David Andrew Rodriguez!!
Sprint finally got that 4G phone you so badly wanted. I am so sorry…..
Brittany moved out-very sad day for me. I miss her so much
Raegan's 1st birthday-it was very sad not to have you there-but I think you were….

Valentine's Day 2011-We took Bruce to Rose Hills to your spot-he peed on your tree!!! Brittany gave you Bruce for Valentine's Day 2007

Lala and Terrell got married!!!!! and now they are having a baby too!!
Barney and Bruce got into a fight over the trash-Barney lost..$200.00 vet bill
Shawn and Ashley are having a girl-Mia Suri
Brittany's Aunt Shelly grew her angel wings
Opening day for the Angels 2011-Dad was sad you weren't here to watch it with him

Gas is over $4.00 a gallon-I KNOW you don't miss that
Most of all....I MISS YOU

Mid-night Music

Growing up, I can remember always hearing you listen to music during the middle of the night. You were definitely the night owl of the family. This used to DRIVE ME CRAZY especially since I shared a bedroom wall with where the computer was. Many of nights were spent with me begging you to turn down the music so I could get some rest for school the next day. And well, let's be honest.....sometimes you did and sometimes you didn't. It is safe to say that somethings never change. You still, to this day, keep me up at night. And for that I am thankful. Yes, I am thankful for the visits that you make during the middle of the night to our house.

I am thankful for when I hear Shiloh doing her soft "woof' and wag her tail in the middle of the night while Oliver remains asleep. I know it is you there to see her because you always were her favorite...frankly, I don't know how she kept me as her mom since she always loved you more. I am thankful to hear the sound of Raegan's toy in the middle of the night. Even when it plays music and says "Peek-a-boo, I see you". (Ok, I will admit that at first Tyler and I didn't know what to think but as time pass, we have come to look forward to these nights.) I am thankful that you play with Raegan's toys while she is in bed with us; you know how much I would freak out if she was in her room without me. Lastly, I am thankful for when you have chosen to visit; you always visit the night before a hard day. Valentines Day was difficult but it was made slightly easier by your visit the night before and the 6th month anniversary of you getting your wings was softened by your visit the night before.

And while I may have in the past begged you to stop waking me up at night, I now look forward to the nights I am woken up by a reminder that you are there. Thank you for watching over us and letting us know you are there. You are welcome in our home both day and night (even mid-night, if you choose).

Love you!!!

IF WE COULD VISIT HEAVEN

If we could visit Heaven
On all our saddest days
Then maybe for a moment
Our pain would go away.

We'd put our arms around you son
And kiss your beautiful face
So the pieces of our broken hearts
Might fall back into place.
If we could have a lifetime wish
A dream that would come true,
We'd pray to God with all our hearts
For yesterday and You.
A thousand words can't bring you back
We know because we've tried...
Neither will a thousand tears
We know because we've cried...
You left behind our broken hearts
And happy memories too...
But we never wanted memories
We only wanted You.

~Author Unknown~

Thank you....

Well, Dave....

Raegan's 1st birthday has come and gone. It wasn't the same without you there; we knew it wouldn't be. There were times at the party that we sat back and realized how much we wished you were there. We watched the slideshow which brought back memories of what was and should have been. Yet, even through these hard times during Rae's party, we knew you were there. We saw the signs ;). Thank you for each of them; they helped bring us comfort in knowing you were there with us.

Most of all, I want to thank you for once again being the BEST PRESENT GIVER. You always were the best at giving but this time you out did yourself. Thank you for leaving money in your bank account and putting just the right amount into Mom's hands to buy Rae the most perfect gift, her Little Tikes Car. Words can not express the emotions that came across the moment when I saw Brittany pushing it towards us. There was joy mixed with sadness, hurt, pain and sorrow. Oh how I wish that you were there to see her ride in her car and play with her in it just as we did when we were kids.

Since her party, when I bring out the car for Raegan to ride in, I think of you. I think of the love that you had for her and how she meant to you.

And so Dave, I thank you. I thank you for continuing to be the best uncle to Raegan that I could ever ask for. We are so lucky to have had and continue to have you in our lives (even if we are the only ones that know you are there). Please don't ever leave us and keep letting us know you are there.

We love you!

Here are her some pictures of her playing in her favorite car:

SHOPPING FOR RAEGAN'S BIRTHDAY

Hi Dave,
I was trying to shop for Raegan’s first birthday party. Knowing that you would have gotten her the BEST present ever, I wanted to see if I could find that best present for her. I thought about it and what better present for you to give her for her first birthday, than your favorite gift from your first birthday…a Little Tikes yellow and red car. You loved that car. When you left this earth, you had some money in your banking account. I had that money in a drawer, waiting for the perfect reason to spend it. This WAS the perfect reason. I went to the envelope and pulled out some cash, enough for the car and then a bit more for a card. I didn’t know how much I had in my pocket; I just knew there was enough for the car. I went to Target and first I stopped and tried to find a card for you to give to her..that perfect card. It was not there. I looked for about 45 minutes. So I gave up and went to the little girls department. I needed something else to give to her from Dad and me. I looked and couldn’t find anything that would do. I thought, ok just the car is all I need. I got the car and was on my way to the register and decided to look one more time in the little girls department. The first outfit I saw was a pink sweat outfit with monkeys on it!!!! Where was this outfit earlier? It was so cute. I thought that is was a good outfit for Dad and me to give Rae. I proceeded to the register knowing that I would need to pull some money out to cover the monkey outfit. When the lady rang up the car and outfit the total was $73.32. I reached into my pocket and pulled out your money. I had EXACTLY $73.00!!!! I said, “I guess the monkey outfit wasn’t supposed to be from us, it was supposed to be from you”. Why would I have exactly that amount??? I just gave the lady .32 and shook my head and all I could say was “amazing”. You were with me!!!
I did find a card, not at Target and this is what it said
“Twinkle twinkle, you’re the star, Wonderful is what you are…..
So here’s a wish that’s just for you—May all you birthday dreams come true!!
Love Uncle Dave
If she was a little older, I know her only birthday wish would be for you to be here with us. I am sure one day she will blow out her candles and wish for that…If only it could come true.
Love Mom

VALENTINES DAY 2011

I hope Valentines Day is beautiful in Heaven. It has to be with you there. Brittany and I took Bruce to Rose Hills. He had never been and we thought it was fitting that he goes on Valentines Days since Brittany gave Bruce to you 4 years ago as your Valentines present. She says you were so excited and you two were inseparable. You even took him into stores in Colorado and he rode in the carts!!! Oh Bruce....He misses you. He thinks you will come home one day and I don't know how to tell him you won't. He looks so sad at times. He wanted me to open your side of the closet the other day. I did and all he did was smell your clothes and then he was fine. Maybe he just needed to smell you. I remember when you were a little boy and you would be outside playing and you would come in and tell me "let me smell you mommy". I would and you would go back outside and finish playing. Oh how I wish for those days again.

One year ago today......

Dave,

I have been thinking about this post for several days....actually several months. I knew that it would be a difficult one to write but I never imagined it would be has hard as it has been.

Today, Valentine's Day, is supposed to be a day marked with love and happiness. And yet, for me, it was a day of sadness as I remember the past. I remember that just one year ago today you took Raegan in your arms and became the most amazing and protective uncle she could ask for. It is only fitting that she met her Uncle Dave (the one who loved her so much) on this special day symbolizing love. As Raegan grows up, Valentines Day will serve a dual purpose. A reminder of those she has in her life that love her and the anniversary of the special bond she created with you. No Valentine can ever replace you.

Know that today wasn't an easy day for any of us (Mom, Dad and Britt included). But we move forward with each day remembering the love that you had for each of us and the love we have for you.

Happy Valentines Day to our Heavenly Valentine! We love you this day and all the days to come.

*Sis

P.S. Your thank you post is coming for Raegan's birthday is coming. I couldn't handle any more tears today.

Raegan's party

Uncle Dave,

Over the last few weeks, we have been getting ready for Raegan's 1st birthday party. We aren't doing anything too crazy...just our closest 70 family and friends at Nana's house. We decided to have Mexican food since that is Raegan's absolute favorite; she loves her beans and rice. You would be so proud of her; I think she has picked up on the fact that she is 26% mexican ;). Even though she has blonde hair and blue eyes which she gets from me, naturally. Although, people have commented that she resembles you (even her little cowlick!).

In honor of her 1st birthday, we will be getting her pictures taken yet again. I know, I know, how many pictures can we take of this little girl? The answer.....not enough! I promise we will slow down after her 1st birthday...ok, maybe not.

Anyways, as we start receiving rsvps for her party, I starting to realize how close it it (she is going to be 1 in less than 3 weeks!). What I am also starting to realize is that you won't be calling me to tell me that you will be there. You won't be arriving late with the biggest and best present you could find for her. You won't be there to help her dive into her birthday cake or to laugh when she makes a huge mess. I wish more than anything that you could be here for these and the other special moments ahead.

Thankfully, I am reminded (by Brittany) that you will be there that day and all the days ahead. That you will continue to be around Rae and I and are protecting us like no one else can.

So since I am already counting on you being there, this is what I have added to the guest list:

Guardian Angel: 1

Please watch over us on this special day and all the days ahead. We love you and we miss you incredibly.

Love, Sis

Memories of Las Vegas 2010

Hey Baby,
Last night I gave Terrelle two pictures from our trip to Las Vegas last year for his birthday! That trip is a trip that none of us will ever forget! When I gave it to him last night we started reminiscing about all the fun and crazy things we did that weekend.

I remember that I had just started working at Big Lots and I hadn't had a weekend off in years! Carrie, my store manager, told me to take advantage and do something fun. When I called you I suggested that we go to Vegas, but I didn't think we would actually go. When I got off work that day you had everything planned out already. You were always good at little surprises. We went to Rey's house and we picked up Rey, Lala, and Terrelle. Brad wanted to go, but we ran out of room in the car. All the way there we played car games. Everything from I Spy to 20 Questions. It was one of the fastest trips to Vegas that any of us remember. When we got there we went to the hotel in the middle of the strip. You had already researched everything online. We got one room for all 5 of us. Poor Rey had to sleep on the floor. That first night there we walked all over trying to find some beer. Then we played Kings Cup in the room in our jammies. The next morning (Saturday) we walked all over the strip. We walked from one end to the other. We stopped and watched that artist make those really cool spray paintings. Terrelle took a picture with a parrot on his arm. We ate lunch at that McDonald with the really cool roof. The picture I took there of you 3 boys was one of the pictures I gave Terrelle. Remember that you found $300 on the floor? I swear you were always the luckiest person I knew. We stopped and hung out on the lawn chairs by Margaritaville. Terrelle wasn't feeling well so him and Lala went back to the room and we finished walking the strip with Rey. We picked out cigars at that little stand in the Paris Hotel. Rey hit on every girl we saw!! We were pretty sure his eyes were gunna fall right out of his head. We ate dinner at the Hard Rock Cafe just the three of us. Rey was trying to hit on the waitress too. We went into one of the big hotels and we saw that green room with the magic carpet and we took a magic carpet ride! I am so glad that we bought that DVD as memories. It is awesome. I remember you lit up a cigarette and smoked right in the middle of the hotel and I was nervous because we weren't anywhere near the casino. Then you threw the butt in a trash can and I was sure the hotel was going burn down and we would be to blame! You were so cold, so we went to that little shop to try to buy you a sweatshirt and couldn't find anything bigger than a 2x. Every hotel we walked through you would stop and gamble, and every time you started to win we would get kicked out because Rey was only 20. He would give them his I.D. and they would take it at first, but once they realized he wasn't 21 they would come back and kick us out. I had to sweet talk the security guard at the Hustler Casino because I was gambling and Rey was holding my drink! We got those huge cups that we just kept re-filling. You had the yard stick and Rey and I shared the huge 3 foot one that had a strap that goes around your neck. When we were getting our cab to go back to the hotel, Rey decided to walk. I don't remember if he was trying to find a fight, or pick up chicks. Probably both! Didn't we meet the most interesting cab drivers out there? I remember the one that kept telling dirty racist jokes. The next morning was Sunday, our last day there. We walked around trying to find a Starbucks for me. I think you got a 40 to drink first thing in the morning! Lala and I wanted to stop at the cupcakery and Lala had to take picture of the cupcakes because she wanted one tattooed on her. Somehow we decided to take a cab to downtown Vegas. Super fun! You won more money on a dinky little casino and Terrelle and Lala got kicked out again. I think the part you like about gambling even more than winning money was free drinks! I think all of us can agree that the walk from down town back to our motel was the best part of the whole trip. We stopped at a pawn shop and looked at all the gaudy jewelry and stuff people had to pawn to pay off their Vegas debts. We saw the Star Trek wedding chapel. You said you would marry me right then if we could get married by Spock. I said "hell no! I'm not having a Star Trek wedding!" I think if I had it to do over I would have the nerdiest wedding ever if that's what you really wanted. We met that guy with the painting and you guys took that picture with the angry monkey. And remember the cool little smoke shop we went into that sold all that weird stuff that was legal in Vegas? We got to that hotel with the roller coaster and I begged you to take a picture with me in a little picture booth but you wouldn't because you hated pictures. We were tired after that and ready to go home! After we packed up our stuff and piled in the car we stopped by Jack in the Box and the guy working there gave Lala and I almost $30 worth of free food and drinks. We stuffed our faces and still couldnt finish all of the food. The ride home was much longer than the ride there. We were to exhausted to play alot of games. We just talked allot about nothing really. Although it didn't seem like we did anything extraordinary on that trip...we created some memories that none of us will ever forget. Terrelle still says that trip was the best birthday he ever had. He will never forget turning 18 thanks to you. When I gave Terrelle the pictures of you and him last night for his 19th birthday he was so happy and so excited. Thats all he really wanted was a picture with you and something to remember one of the best trips we ever had. I love you baby and I wish we had the chance to make more wonderful memories together.

Love Brittany

Bruce and the kids

Dear Davey,
I made it through another week. There isn’t a second that goes that I don’t think of you and wish you were here with me. Life is so short and some don’t realize what they have. Your friends need you here right now. They are all torn apart and need you as their glue, their mentor and rock. Please watch over them and help them. I worry so much about them all right now.
Days are rough without you but the nights are the hardest. There is not a second of everyday that I don’t think of you and wish you were here. I wish I could explain to Bruce where you are. He is still waiting for you to come home. Sometimes I think he understands because when I cry at night he is the one that comes and licks my tears away. His eyes are so sad. He still loves to laser point every night and when I am out there with him I look up into the Heavens hoping that you can see him playing. That is when he is the happiest the most these days and of course he asks every night like he always has. Stevie is Stevie although he is a fat boy these days. I told his mommy that we need to cut his food down. Remember how skinny and sickly he was when you and Brittany came home from Colorado? You wouldn’t believe it is the same dog. He still likes to bug Annie and chase her in the back yard. Barney misses cuddling with you too. He gets into bed with Brittany sometimes but he says it isn’t the same as cuddling with his Davey. Allie dumped over the trash can last night-she got up on the table and knocked it over. They all ate trash and what a mess we had to clean up. She was the only one that acted guilty and nobody wanted dinner!!! Annie misses you too but she says she doesn’t miss how you use to scare her and hold her upside down.
Please watch over us all down here. We know that where you are is so much better than here, but we want you here with us too. God has his plan, you know it, and we don’t. How lucky you are!! I love you Davey and miss you more than words can say. Help me to be strong until we meet again. Love Mom

It's a New Year

It is a New Year. Am I glad to see the old one go? Yes and no. No, because it was the last year I had you in my life. Yes, because last year hurt so bad. Not one minute goes by that you are not on my mind. Everywhere and everything I do reminds me of you. I even smelled your cologne the other night when I was in bed. It gave me a warm feeling to smell you again. I never realized such pain could exist and I pray every day for God to help me through it.
We have all collected Batman things in honor of you. I wish we had known all this stuff was here when you were here. A lot of us have a sticker on our car of the logo. It is awesome to pull up somewhere and see all those in memory of you. Even some of your friends have them on their cars. I even think the “lounge” has one too!!!! And it should, of course.
I wish I was there when you saw Papa come home. What a joyous occasion I am sure that was. He is now free to run and play catch with you. He loves you so much and was so devastated when you left. He thought it was all a dream and woke up the next morning to find out that it wasn’t a dream and was very upset. He never really was the same for those 86 days between the day you left and the day he left. He just existed, not really lived. I think he was waiting to hear the words that it was his time.
Tonight is Papa’s viewing and Rosary. I am not looking forward to it because I know it will bring back memories of you. To have to do this again so soon is very difficult on everyone but we all have peace knowing that you are together once again and you will be there the day the Lord calls us home as well.
Please watch over us tonight as we are there. A sign that you are there would be awesome-if you can. Not sure about how those work but if you can work it, it would be great.
I love you and miss you beyond words.
Mom

My First Christmas in Heaven

I see the countless Christmas trees around the world below
With tiny lights, like Heaven’s stars, reflecting on the snow
The sight is so spectacular, please wipe away the tear
For I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.
I hear the many Christmas songs that people hold so dear
But the sounds of music can’t compare
with the Christmas choir up here.
I have no words to tell you, the joy their voices bring,
For it is beyond description, to hear the angels sing.
I know how much you miss me, I see the pain inside your heart
But I am not so far away, we really aren’t apart.
So be happy for me, dear ones, you know I hold you dear.
And be glad I’m spending Christmas
with Jesus Christ this year.
I sent you each a special gift, from my heavenly home above.
I sent you each a memory of my undying love.
After all, love is a gift more precious than pure gold
It was always most important in the stories Jesus told.
Please love and keep each other, as my Father said to do
For I can’t count the blessing or love he has for each of you
So have a Merry Christmas and wipe away that tear
Remember, I am spending Christmas
with Jesus Christ this year.
( by Author Unknown)

Yet Another Day

The day begins again without you.

Each day comes and goes and I am looking for you, searching for you.

But you are nowhere in site.

I know you are in my heart and around me but yet I can't see you, can't touch you, can't hear your voice.

This must be a dream , maybe the day has not begun and I am still asleep and having this horrible nightmare.

But then once again night falls, and another day comes without you here to share my day with, to hear how your day was.

How can this be, how can it be that I am left to live a life without you in it.

You had a heart of gold, a very caring person not to mention a very smart young man.

I go through the motions of each day not knowing what to do from one minute to another.

The time passes, the day ends , night falls, another night of hoping you come to me in my dream, or maybe to awaken and this is just a nightmare.

But yet another day will begin without you.

My only solace is one day we will meet again when God calls me home.

Until then the days will come and go and I will continue to search for you even if it's just a sign from above that you still here with me.

You will always be in my heart and a part of my heart has died when you went home to be with God.

The Broken Chain

We little knew that morning that God was going to call your name,In life we loved you dearly, in death we do the same.It broke our hearts to lose you, you did not go alone.For part of us went with you, the day God called you home.You left us peaceful memories, your love is still our guide,And though we cannot see you, you are always at our side.Our family chain is broken, and nothing seems the same,But as God calls us one by one, the chain will link again.
-Ron Tranmer-